Bitterness, anger and hurt
Sealed implosion and quiet desperation
All of those are still part of the one and only life
Enjoy it easy, yun yun.
Wingless ch 01
Once upon a time there was a young boy who thought he knew it all, he was smart and grew strong, he was opinionated and liked to fight with words and attitude, he never got really violent, well, I guess it was just a coincidence of circumstances.
He was kind of weird, he did some very strange acts that defied all sense of reality around the women he could relate, but at the end nothing actually bad happened, he screamed wolf so many times that everybody figured out he was at the end, harmless.
People did got angry at him, if he was some creepy looking weak kid, they would have probably beaten him up hard, against him could have been anybody for whatever reason, not an adult likely as things would escalate quickly, it could have been some other boy trying to score points with the girl in question, some white knight trying to look cool, some dark knight believing that bullying feels great, and to top it all up, what did went through, the girl herself used to go ahead and beat him up, at first she did it out of anger, then it was a delicious pleasure, until one day he quick and perfectly blocked three of her punches with no effort, she wanted to stop at the second block but the momentum didnt until the third, she got surprised and scared of how easily he did it, she was not a tiny girl, she was tall and strong, ever since she started to beat him up, she felt confident and bragged about it to everybody she could, she thought she could put any men she wanted in their place with her strength, but she thought it twice after that sudden moment and his cold expression she never really saw before, she was afraid of him, but mostly because she let her own anger and ego to grow wilder and without consideration of others around her, he did not hit her back, when he defended himself he seemed very weird, yes, even more, he was so firm and seemed in perfect harmony, he just said in a calmed imperative voice“no, no, I wont let you beat me anymore”, and that was it, well, not really, a couple of hours later he got out of the trance and became normal again.
Something was wrong inside him, said the people who got to know him for long enough, at the beginning he could barely carry a conversation with people his own age, he slowly learned and even got a couple of friends unrelated to the girl, but at that time of possible communication with her, their relation was already broken, there was distrust, anger, jealousy, hate, and whatever bad feeling they could find was in the middle.
To the shallow eye, it would have looked that he was just begging her, yet none of those knew what happened backstage except for both of them, her closest friends and family, only at her side cause he never talked to anybody about it, she did where she could cover from the public eye and express her feelings about him, she just wanted the boy to be normal so she could be with him, he was the perfect boyfriend she always wanted, she knew he really loved her and would do everything to help her if she needed it, which was so bizarre, cause thats the exact thing he could not do.
She tried to help him many times but there was no way she had the ability, personal growth and mental strength to deal with him, she didnt feel bad cause nobody actually could, and endless line of teachers, doctors and psychologists tried, but it was all in vain, his mind was a huge puzzle yet he walked and talked like it was the most simple thing in the world.
Youve seen what you have done, little one?… yaaaa! I wish I could apologize, that was not nice, I liked that girl… not that you were completely wrong, you did well so many times and she failed, it was meant to be yet it wasnt supposed to happen at all, dont worry, its better this way, hehehe… ok, whats next.
After a couple of years of a troubled and annoying nothing relation I could detail but kind of feel outside the story, both were at their last semester of high school, they shared the same classroom again cause they got sick of him skipping classes in order to go and see her, which was actually a clever excuse, he was just bored and wanted to be out of that prison. The girl started to plan about her changes coming in life, what college and career, dreams about a professional job, doing adult stuff like sex, parties, driving, drinking, smoking, you know, being a big woman; the future, be somebody, a person to be respected, succeed, money, luxuries, traveling, the good stuff, only an idiot would not like to progress and remain the same, and we found one, her beloved young boy who had no idea nor plans for absolutely anything outside his daily living, the poor sucker couldnt even figure out what was happening and why she was changing so much, to the point that she decided to forget about him, not that she actually could. The last six months she tried to completely avoid him and such, he tried to fight back but he didnt do what she expected him to, so nothing healed and they slowly went apart, the love was still there but, there were other greater things to be loved.
To conclude with this tiny relation that lasted so long (they must have been really stubborn), when highschool ended the boy could improve his life without the poison of the wasted school hours, his personality allowed him to do it very easily, not that he did great, he didnt have an idea of what was he doing, yet his outstanding personality made it look like he progressed so much. Out of highschool, he couldnt follow the girl he once loved and had to move on without her, there was not another option, she said it was enough and that it was final. A year later they met in college, he looked great and confident, she was happy and excited, it was such a great opportunity, yet he could never forgive her, he did with everything else but not again now, he couldnt forgive that she left him behind for her own pleasure, he coldly turned his back at her and she never dared to get close, she tried to look and hear from him many times, it was so easy for him to do like before, but now, she couldnt get close at all, she didnt have the strength nor personality to do something on her own, she was tied by the other peoples opinions, so she decided to wait for him to come close, but he never did so she moved on, and one day he disappeared and they never saw each other again.
The end… some little boys also like to succeed in life… I loved it when she constantly saw you talking to other girls so nicely and normally, it was so seductive and the girls looked good for the standard, such an easygoing relation, the thing you never did for her… maybe I just wanted to have sex and spend my unexistant money with the new girls… her so called friends loved her pain, you could see the rejoice in their eyes, do you think she cried?… knowing her as much as I did… which is not that much… surely she did, well, maybe some nostalgia, but if in secret, she was a loudmouth only when it was convenient, when not she used to cry where nobody could see her… hehehe… hihihi, she was the one who liked adults anyway… this is not even about you and her, its about hopes and dreams… and then facing reality.