Happiness of Marionette 02 ~Path of Dolls~ ch 11

Again?… yes, uuuhh, it hurts so bad, gggg… you just got better, supposedly I see… Ive been thinking, this is too much and has continued for so long, uuumm, is there something I should worry about? is there anything breaking?… you have to learn how to stabilize yourself… ever since I started to wake up, the pain, is too hard, I know it always was there, but now its, chronic, I, ahhhgg… its the injuries of your former self, she couldnt heal those, she could handle it, but you dont cause youre too weak… is this going to get worse?… yes, much worse… uummm, my head, my body, everything hurts, everything… dont be overdramatic, not all is in pain, you see, there are two reasons for the amnesia to have happened, first the emotional pain, the sadness and deep depression that you feel… that is horrible too… the second is the physical pain, from all, you know, that… I feel like this pain is so old, and that I have felt it for ages… it is from so long ago… actually I dont know, that what?… I dont think now its the proper time to say it… this is living torture that never goes away… this can be a good chance for you to develop… Im not in the mood… you have to, can you see where it comes from?… I actually can, theres a lot of emotions, like regrets and such… the girl could never heal, it was her emotions that prevented it, she couldnt close the injuries, if someone cuts you with the poison of hate, and you absorb the hate, the injury wont close, even physically, the blood will keep bursting through the shallow intent of a scar… isnt that what Im doing? healing everything… yes… it started much sooner, the first time I stayed at home instead of going to school… you and I kept trying to awake since much before, but then it was the first really strong time… now I realize why I like so much to be in the place Im not supposed to, it feels so great, like theres a whole world of magic, time broke and I made it elsewhere… yes, it is exactly that… I wanted to look like before, so I started to let my hair grow long, very long, against everybody else… hehe, though it was difficult with the heat of this place… I really like your idea of shorter hair, its very easy to move around… its a very old idea… it doesnt go away, the pain is still, so annoying… have you stabilized yourself? no… Im trying… not enough, why are you holding back?… mmm, I dont know, theres stuff I want to do, I guess… the pain attacks started when you went out with your so called family on the last weekend… I needed to get something… but you got something else… what could I get?… do you think you could just ignore it? the one playing dumb is you… what do you mean?… close your eyes… ok… take a deep breath and visualize what is an influence to you right now… thats easy, its you… I am you, its not me, visualize… everytime is forced influence I see it in bright white, why is that?… its a long story of a place… who is all those people?… you tell me… I know, but why are they here?… your so called family, the three woman you found at the mall, the dude that joined later… ahg, after days I keep seeing them… it all started when you thought of getting something out of the horrible situation of you being stuck in the social occasion, you were thinking of getting a laptop in order to play outside, so all those boring times you could do something while the others kept in their useless activities… yes, I do, but how could it turn into pain?… cause you broke your stability, you stopped working in order to get something material, those people, in your mind youre still in that social place, keeping your behavior for them in order to pass that moment, youre still doing the same you were doing and feeling with them cause youre still looking for a laptop to deal with those situations, even now when its over and youre home, youre afraid of the next time and keep thinking about it… aaaahhgggg… you have to end it now… should I kill them like some monster?… you should forget about the laptop, we dont have any money and I dont plan for you to stay outside… ok, I guess I really wanted one.

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One Response to Happiness of Marionette 02 ~Path of Dolls~ ch 11

  1. Pingback: About: Path of Dolls 09-12 | AuAu Over

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