Happiness of Marionette 04 ~The Lost Mighty Wolf~ ch 02

Hehehe, youre very pathetic, I should call you a boy without a heart, deluded loser, is your life good, little dummy?… yaaaa, that was kinda cruel, were very ruthless to ourselves, arent we?… mothers ways are always the best, I feel great already, just like mother… but how are we going to counter all of that?… start for the easy, lets see:
-”Crazy sick boy”, I wont argue with that… are we really crazy and sick?… yes, very… are we a boy?… hihihi, we will leave that for later, next.
-”Socially retarded”, what do you think about that one?… Im not retarded, I take care of my personal vibration and I choose carefully who to be with, that was simple to explain.
-”Brain Tumor and arteries ripped”, interesting, especially since you dont like doctors, yet you like actresses… we could hold the time bomb inside us and our body is still holding, thats the answer to the arteries… and the brain tumor?… looking from the outside, it could go both ways, we dont believe its a brain tumor, its a concussion, the true question would be how did we get that injury?… I say it was our cousin, but maybe you made it up to give it a good reason for happening, for you to accept it… I cant believe Im that shallow then, thats so pitiful… yes, you would be, hehehe, maybe your mother dropped you from the bed, maybe you got hurt when everybody died, and they sold you as used goods to another family… some xrays may be useful… are you stupid? Im not paying for that, I already know what you got, next.
-”Unable to do much about anything” I wouldnt agree with that… the real question would be, anything about what?, what the hell do you want? probably not the same that I want… hehehe, I love it when you get smart, next.
-”You started to imagine it all, to escape your pitiful and lonely certain destiny”, did you, little one?… did I imagine it or did I remember? imagine it from what? remember it from when? to escape blabla its a long theme, lets think about it later… next.
-”Im adopted and longing for my lost family, which I still hold some memories of” cannot be more obvious, but something calls my attention, adopted, are you?… the people I live with have no blood relation to me… how do you know that? did some expert told you, some expert about families, I think you would need someone with a certificate, hehehe… says the girl who loves to walk around the catholic curses center pretending its the nuns orphanage, you wish you could go back… of course, it was great, I was great, still am… lets leave that for later as well.
-”I probably lost them in a violent and tragic way when very young” I thought you just wanted some high emotions to feel special… Im certainly, emh, somehow, traumatized about violence and tragedy, I hate it so much that I made it my own to survive and take over a cruel and cold world… thats me, and not even me, thats mother, you deluded storyteller boy, and I may have gone a little too far, hihihi, what about you?… violence and tragedy, no, wait, the key is lost, what did I lost? what do I think I lost, and why?… you feel like you lost something very important, thats true, but is it true that you lost it? can you prove whats inside the deeps of your mind and heart?… obviously not, at least not like this, next.
-”To later make up a story to deal with the grief” how are you dealing with grief, little boy?… horribly, I can barely take it anymore, the further I live the more it hurts, its painful to be alive, but… but?… weve been doing much better, fighting back, you always fight back when I give up so many times… you really gave up, I had to rescue you somehow, little marionette, next.
-”A story of romance and intense love that never existed but I wanted to cause I never had one in real life”, youre so lewd little one… you really think it is about sexual frustration?… if youre guarding your emotions and find no one, then maybe, hihihi… you already know thats a lie, if you remain expanding your true emotions, sexual frustration is the thing you wont feel at all… oh, but I like it when youre perverted, soft cushy breast, bite her butt, hehehe… at the end of the day its not a joke… I love stories, good stories, everything else can wait… and why is that? aint life important?… a good story holds a strong emotion, if its your own, theres little to worry about, we can still be living, again and again, thats what I did with you when I rescued you… lovely.
-”Sexually repressed autist boy who could never find a girlfriend” are you autistic, little boy?… I would normally say yes and not care, but what does autistic mean?… some disease someone described, probably to sell pills or whatever, I dont know much about it… disease? yuck, that sounds disgusting, Im gonna say no, Im not, thats gross, just because I say so… ok, and we already talked about sex, what about a girlfriend? your relations are just awful… what relations are you talking about?… other women… ooother women?… I should probably shut up and let you talk… what relations do you want me to have?… dont ask me, I already have my personal relations to cry about, it means about you… I have the same answer as you… but what if you made me up?… I am very happy, its not like Im going out with them… maybe theyre just jealous… about my delusions?… you never talk to anyone about us anyway, those girls probably think you have a girlfriend somewhere else… its not about some girl and sex, or boy or whatever, its about the actual relation I have with them… all I care about is a good story… of course, all witches do… Im not a witch, Im a pretty wolf, and were talking about you… if I am the problem, then the question is not the other girls, but who am I?… next.
-”traumatized I made up a story about actually being a girl, unable to prove it, I set up her story before my birth” this is a really good one, little boy, do you wear tiny dresses and model to yourself?… I wear the same you do, its not my fault that you became so lazy to dress up… its because I have style and its perfect, Im a homeless girl fighting a war, I even left humanity aside once, I look great… you just like wearing shorts… its too hot in here! Im from the snow!… snow wolf?… I was a little girl then, so, what about the question?… we left the discussion of our gender for later, and Im gonna left the reality of your existence for the last… I dont exist… sure it shows… next,
-”Multiples times of sexual and personal abuse, to soothe my lack of sexuality” hahahahahaha… there are two parts, one the abuse, two how did I deal with sex, the second its very easy, I already answered it, what really happens in those relations, shallow sex its not for me, theres a reason I still have money while having all those massage places so near home… I think you misunderstood, its not about what you believe, its what you did, why did you make up the abuse?… I didnt make it up, youre real… can you prove it?… I cant prove everything I do… well, if you cant then nobody is going to believe you, focus, were talking about the abuse here… theres traumas and injuries in our mind structures, also chronic depression, anxiety, sense of loss, I would say yes, the abuse is real, and I dont use it to brag about, its something that I like… perv… not, that much, its like, it reminds me of someone I love… did that person abused you?… yes… who and why?… if you exist theres already an answer… and if I dont?… that would be the if I made you up answer… what makes you believe that Im right?… cause I love myself, and I believe you are me… mmm, next.
-”Kept trying to force women into a relationship with you, exactly the way you wanted” sick, whats your excuse?… you just said it, I was sick, but thats not the real problem… was it worse?… they wanted me, they saw a version of me and they loved it, it was the same the other way around, the only difference is that other people think it is normal… arent you stretching concepts too much?… no, it was the same, if I was stalking some girl who had nothing to do with me, then the whole problem its me… what about that secundaria teacher? youre not going to tell me she wanted to be your girlfriend… I moved many strings inside her, back then I didnt saw anything, all was mechanic, but now that I have an awaken mind, it kind of freaks me out, I really stirred her up with something so simple, thats why it really became a problem, everybody else thought it was something minor… oh, how interesting, how many girls you deluded yourself with?… there are two parts of that question, how many and deluded… why deluded?… because I kept thinking of someone else in their place… sounds like a cheap movie… except that I didnt care about social standards, I kept breaking one after another… and yet not much happened… it would be too much of a problem, I guess everybody included me agreed… maybe you developed a new disease they havent described… thats not of my concern… ok, you already explained deluded, who was that person?… someone I love, thats for sure… and how many girls?… a few, or many, there where tiny delusions with girls I had no relation, sanity used to come quick, when those girls loved me, it became a huge delusion, it all disappeared as you woke up… then the question would be, who am I?… exactly… which leads us to next.
-”You found an actress that you liked and decided to fall in love, blabla” what a hell is going on there?!… hehe, you got mad… how can I not be mad?… youve been laughing through this whole thing and suddenly you got mad… and furious! answer! why are you doing this to me?!… you? do you even exist?… Im extremely angry already!… aaahh, lets see, I did fell in love with her, thats real, I did felt special, she was in my room through the tv… and?!… I forgot about all the other woman not because of her, it happened cause you woke up… did you realize how wrong it was?… yes, and in many ways… so its true, you made her up… she does exist… you made up her relation with you… I dont know, I just dont know if thats real… you made it up just like with those other women!… theres something curious, remember? the girl of that scientific show where they prove if things were false or true… oh, yes, she was good to watch, until some point… I fell in love with her too, and it was after the actress, I did the same thing, I taped her and such, to later realize, felt sorry and forgot… so what? its normal when youre not related with the girl… then why am I still stuck with the actress?!… I, I dont, know… it should have been the same, by then I already had lost view of her works, the delusion should be have been over, from my structures she should have been forgotten, like some little kid with a naive and innocent love about someone famous, I didnt even thought of having sex with both of them, not even once… the delusions are not making logical steps with the actress… which means something else is going on, what do you feel on your side?… Im made up here, it doesnt count… its all thats left, it must come from you, my feelings for the actress should be now just a nice memory at most, why does the delusion still continues when it was already broken? since you were the one who destroy them all, it must be from you, its not me, who is the actress to you?!… this is not called a girl without a heart, next.